Someone has been observing different students’ behaviour during night class.
You won’t be surprised to see your behaviour mimicked here, because this writing is a product of a big-time observation. Just be at peace with the good intentions of this writing.
If you’ve not been attending night class, just chill and read what we do there. If you’re an aspirant, enjoy the big joke I’m gonna gist me! Let’s start with;
Night Class Experience
The Real Jackos
These kind of students usually come with the good intention of dealing with their materials. They don’t come with anyone not even a female for the guys.
They don’t come with their phones sometimes. Just only their materials. They’re not distracted by anything. Every effort is channelled to the books.
They stay focused, single-minded and read TDB (TILL DAY BREAK).
Eaters
These kind of students, especially females, immediately they arrived to school, they go straight to SUB and buy like N100 popcorn, different kinds of biscuits, rich mishai, lacasera, chewing gum etc and stuff inside their bags.
They’ll spend reasonable hours eating. Sometimes they eat while pretending to be reading. Immediately the food finished, next thing you’ll hear is Please wake me when it’s 12 O’Clock” that’ll end the night!
They form the highest number of CHAIN_SLEEPERS that won’t realise that they’re not in their bedroom. The male among them snores a big lot.
Movie Students
These students will purposely leave the hostel or lodge with their phones, laptops, Bluetooth, and earpiece.
They’ll target a socket and colonize it. A whole lot of big world will happen within their ears.
Sometimes you hear “come-on shut that guy”, Gosh-holy sh*t… F*ck you! B*tch, Oh no! he missed the target”
Couples
Lol before the night the guy most often would call, ” *_how far nh, are you gonna come for night class tonight? If she agrees…pre-night-honey-moon begins in his heart.
They would sit at the back whispering to themselves sweet nothings. Now and then they will go out.
Sometimes they form jackos. Next minutes the girl would place her head on the guy’s thighs. My guy would either be forming Jacko or pressing nothing on his phone.
Soon they, (to us) are engrossed in deep sleep. Guy’s hand crossing her…. A TV show is set for students.
By 5:00 am he will make sure she gets to her hostel before my guys will start going.
Chaii
WiFi Users
Since the WiFi is often very strong at the night. Loading more than 10-12mb/s.
This set of students will make sure they complete the movie they were downloading in the daytime.
Watch every trending on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook and update all their apps.
When their friends chat with them, they would reply I’m in night class, just checking stuff on Google, chat with you later I have an exam tomorrow
Monitoring Spirits
As if their buttocks are paining them. They’ll read for a few hours and start walking around the class.
Greeting people and spending huge time talking irrelevancies.
They wouldn’t allow you to concentrate and achieve something. They shook hands with you thousand times. Now and then they’ll check the school wall mirror.
Gossips
Female students feature too good here. The other will talk about how she made stew before she could come back from lectures it spoiled.
Another would talk about how she will use the weekend to fix new fingernails, plait new hairstyle and take her bag to that aboki at Presidential hostel.
Next would ask ” is that guy still disturbing you”? they would laugh out loud in seconds and continue to chew gum
Messi and C. Ronaldo Fans
You’ll imagine if they came to read or to argue who’s the real G.O.A.T.
A guy would mention the list of players in a club and the other would correct him about the sold ones and how much they were sold, those that’ll play the premier league and players that’ll be benched. Sometimes they talk about how many odds they got in Betnja.
Bae Hunters
They’ll start with using their bags, books and handkerchiefs to keep seats for nobody in particular. Guys don’t dare sit there. Unfortunate beautiful girls don’t get close too.
When everywhere get calm they’ll start “…seems you’re reading CHM122? Hope you’re understanding?
If you won’t mind I’m kinda good at a few concepts therein!
I’m gonna put you through!” With this strategy and more they’ll get like 5-6 numbers a night.
Hope this is your WhatsApp number?…. I’ll chat you up_”
Innocent Criminals
Sometimes they’ll sit closely with you like a domestic cat looking on a child for some scrubs of oiled yam.
They don’t talk too much. Their loud, violent and rudeness are buried in the dead silence of their mild unspoken tune. Timed bombs, waiting for the explosion.
Soon they’ll disappear like a Nollywood ghost spirit, going from seat to seat like a JW member on religious service.
When you start hearing someone saying in the words of his/her cry my phone, my phone…
Who picked up my phone? ” know that mission is completed.
Class Gatemen
Seems every class has theirs. These students will sit close to the door or most often stand. Once you knock, the next is
“Are you in the Psychology department?
Are you in pharmacy?
Who do you come with?
We don’t allow nonmembers into this class. You’ve to go to the faculty theatre hall” Before you’ll say ” please sir my faculty is at UNEC” the door is locked before you.
Politicians
Lol, when they’ll be coming in the evening you’ll think that what filled their bags are just books and lanterns.
They’re coming with campaign items like pens, flyers and likes of them. They won’t allow you to read. Sometimes they’ll come close and tell you why you should vote.
One of those nights they would call on everyone’s attention just to say REMEMBER SO SO AND SO NAME!
Looku Looku
These students have very sensitive ears like that of a cat that shakes on a sound wave. They also have the proverbial “Anya na-ele wam wam”
They can’t read a page without looking up, sideways and back to see nothing in particular. Every little thing draws their attention to focus.
They’ll end up reading like a chapter or less for the whole prepared-long-night.
While going back in the morning they’ll be looking like Newton, Einstein and Shakespeare.
LOL NIGHT-CLASS CAN BE FUNNY.
If you didn’t see where you belong here, just do good to add it.
OKEKE DOMINIC
